There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
