Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
God, I missed his penis.
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