are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
