if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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