What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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