oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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