You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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