Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
