Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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