brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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