I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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