try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
