So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
two words: eviction party
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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