Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
