You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
