I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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