I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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