i think my tv is drunk
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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