I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
