I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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