It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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