The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
