He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
