We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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