I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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