when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
