he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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