We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
