What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
