Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
