There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
