i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
