Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Text me some of your sweat
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
