I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
