so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
