no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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