I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize