So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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