she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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