in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
