Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
