guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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