He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
