Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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