is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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