thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
