Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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