"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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