Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
