Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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