i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
zippers are such a cool invention
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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