There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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