went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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