Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
