We're like a lot better than the average bears
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
