Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
