I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
