i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
