But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
