dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
