thus making me awesome and them whores
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize