i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
